The Diary of Florian von Fuss Schlager

Entry 1 Taking a little evil for the Greater Good?

I often find myself looking up at the sky wondering what God wants me to do. I feel this instinct in my gut to do nothing but good and go against the forces that make this world a harder place to live in. And yet there is something inside of me that doesn't want to do anything at all, there is a certain part of me that wants to go against the very fabric that has become a normality for me in this day. Why do I feel like there is evil pulsing through me when I look at a creature and ignore its deformation and defiance against nature? I would think that God himself would want me to be protected in the face of all fear. I still have nightmares of Goats and vines from the one time I chose to let God take the reigns. Did he aid me when I needed him the most? Or was it simply another test to see how true to my faith I could stand? I realize that Humans are born neutral into this world. There are some who are raised into evil and some who are raised into good. I would like to think that I was raised into good but every since the death of my sister and the demise of my parents, I would say that has not been the case. More and more I dread having the gift to see into the other place. To see what is truly lurking in the shadows and it sickens me what I must face on a day to day basis when the supreme being has called upon me yet again. I dare not question my faith for it is not at stake or in doubt. I know there is a God for he constantly pulls at my heart strings. But if he loves me so much and I have been selected to receive the Gift Curse, why must I take on more damnation for this world because of my use of tactics in blocking out the horrors I must deal with?
Another thing I much get off of my chest is the fact of using tools given to me to to stop the evil beings of this world. Why should not I use the tools they have been gifted to fight against them? They may use the Power of Prayer and Magics to fight against me and yet I can't use a simple Hex from Witch Craft to curse them without it being another sin? God is the Creator of all! Everything he creates is in perfection and in his own image! If this includes Sin then so be it, but I should not be considered an abomination whenever I use the tools that he has gifted the world. I do hope that my fellow Witch Hunters will someday realize how I feel. I would Rather take a little sin to stay upon this world longer to carry out God's will than to die and have fear if I would join him in heaven. But why does it matter? I think my point is best summed up in Ecclesiastes 9:12. I will leave it at that.

Florian von fuss Schlager

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